I love MMA. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love this sport. I love to train, watch, and follow the sport. Its the greatest sport on the earth. However I cant help but feel like the UFC is doing a few things that may help to ruin the integrity of the sport.
Lets take a look at Brock Lesnar. He made his living in the popular world of wrestling, playing the part of the big headed, loud mouth villain. He made millions with popular endorsements and a huge fan base. He is your typical "meat head" backwoods country boy....and he plays the part well.
Not all of his career has been fake though. Lesnar is an accomplished amateur wrestler, winning the 2000 NCAA heavyweight wrestling championship and placing second in 1999, losing in the finals to 1999 world freestyle wrestling champion and future New England Patriots offensive lineman Stephan Neal.
Lesnar also had a short stint in the NFL. Lesnar played for the Minnesota Vikings, where he created controversy in some games by starting minor fights and got heat from the Kansas City Chiefs for a hit on quarterback Damon Huard, which drew a big response from the crowd. Huard was hit hard and had to go to the sidelines and sit out a few plays. After playing in the preseason, Lesnar ended up being a late cut. He declined an invitation to play as a representative of the Vikings in NFL Europa because he wanted to be closer to home with his family.
In 2007 Lesnar turned to Mixed Martial Arts. Fighting in 2007, "fat head" had his first career win under the K1 promotion defeating Min Soo Kim (who?...exactly!) at 1:09 of the first round due to strikes. Heres where Dana White starts screwing shit up.
After this redneck wins 1 fight, the UFC decides to make him a deal he can't refuse by offering him a contract. His first fight is against a "past his prime" Frank Mir. Brock loses a point early for hitting Mir in the back of his head. "But you can do that in the WWE!" With no chairs to use or a table to throw him on, Lesnar is submitted by Mir via "nasty ass kneebar" at 1:30 of the first round
"WELCOME TO THE UFC"-Mir
Brock then faces a B level guy at best in Heath Herring. With the "punch heard round the world" Lesnar literally knocked Herring from one side of the cage to the other with one vicious right bear claw of his. I don't like Lesnar, but that punch was AWESOME! The rest of the fight ended up with Lesnar on top of Herring beating him like a rag doll. Lesnar via decision.
Lets recap this rednecks record 2-1 with his record of 1-1 in the UFC. Hey Dana, whats the next logical step for a guy who's only had 3 fights, lost one of them, and couldn't finish 2 of your B level "over the peak" fighters???
"Hey, lets give him a title shot!" WRONG!
Lesnar faced a geriatric Randy Couture at UFC 91. Lesnar won by TKO in the second round simply because of size. Anyone who says Lesnar is more skilled than Couture surely slobbers on themselves and wears a helmet. This fight really pissed me off because it helps to encourage this "Don King" like mentality of Zuffa. And we all know what Don King did to the sport of boxing.
After Mir beat Big Nog, a rematch was scheduled for Mir vs Lesnar for the Undisputed Heavyweight Title. This fight did not go like the first. Lesnar pounded on Mir all night winning by TKO. 1-1 vs Mir.
Lesnar became very ill and almost died due to a severe case of Diverticulitis which required surgery. He was out of competition for a year.
"Dammit Darwin, we almost had him."
The next fight I got really excited about. Im talking I was excited as a 10 year old boy with big glasses on Christmas morning opening up his Red Ryder BB Gun.
Well mom was right, I shot my eye out.
After Shane Carwin threw Lesnar a red headed step child beating in the first round, (which should have been stopped by the way....no....no stop arguing, it should have been stopped) Lesnar capitalized on the fatigue of Carwin and won via submission (arm triangle).
Now Im really pissed.
Lesnar also showed how classy he is by dissing one of the UFC's prime sponsors, Bud Light, after the fight because they wouldn't give him any money. Thats because they are smart Brock. He said he was going to go home and have a Coors Light and "climb on" his beefy wife.
Way to stay classy Brock and thanks for setting the mentality of the public about fighters back 10 years. Im not sure why fighters get such an arrogant, loud mouth, bar brawling reputation.
So at this point Lesnar is 1-1 vs Mir (Past his prime, B level), beat Herring (same as Mir), beat a 45 yo Couture, and barely, with controversy, beat Carwin.
I almost gave up hope in the UFC heavyweight division until a jesus like figure appeared from the shadows. Ladies and Gentlemen, the one, the only, Cain Velasquez. (insert heavenly choir)
Shortly after 4 minutes in the first round, Cain was announced the winner by rape..... I mean TKO. I would like to add that Lesnar did not dominate one second of this fight.
NOT. ONE. SECOND.
Thank you Cain for putting the world back in order.
Brock Lesnar is simply a big name that showed some interest in MMA. Dana White saw dollar signs and irresponsibly put him in the big leagues to make money. Now I will give credit where credit is due. Lesnar is one giant dude who is a freak of nature athlete. That alone is not enough in my opinion to make you a top level fighter. Im sure it pisses off fighters who are out there sweating and bleeding every day, busting their asses to get a shot at the big leagues when this guy gets in after one bum fight simply because of his name. This type of thinking is what will ruin the integrity of this sport. If you don't believe me just look at boxing. Look what happened when people got greedy and money became the focus instead of the integrity and advancement of the sport.
I also think its funny and sad that this redneck bull is coaching this season on TUF. His record is 5-2. Out of 14 original cast members and 1 replacement fighter this season (Keon Caldwell left for family and they brought in Chuck O'Neil), there are only 4 fighters that have fewer fights than Lesnar. Those fighters with fewer fights have a combined record of 15-3.
So shouldn't these fighters be coaching Lesnar since the majority of them have more experience and have been in the sport longer than 4 years???
My buddy Brody argues with me saying "He's beat a few guys including a title holder, doesn't that mean he has proven himself?" Im not saying Brock doesn't belong in the UFC. Im saying I hate the way he got in to the UFC. I hate the way Dana is hugging his nuts because of his name and ability to sell PPVs. I hate that he got a title shot after 2 fights in the UFC. I hate that the UFC is heading the way of boxing. If Brock had a few more fights and "worked" his way in to the UFC, then we wouldn't be having this discussion. I know a lot of fighters, like my buddy Dan New, who have more fights and are a hell of a lot more talented than this broad shouldered, cow humping, trash talking redneck.
Hey Dana, where is their contract???
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Friends don't let friends date crazy chicks!
Last Friday night was like every other Friday night. Being in my twenties (albeit not for much longer unfortunately) I was looking for something fun to do. My GF was having girls night and left me unsupervised to get in all sorts of devious trouble.
Naturally I decided I needed a partner in this evenings crimes or if for nothing else, to help out in raising bail money. So I quickly scrolled through the contact list on my ever expensive phone which verizon tells me can do anything. "Anything" must be a term in verizon which actually means, "Anything, except get you laid by a latino swimsuit model, pick winning numbers for the lottery, or release white doves and play loud trumpets whenever you walk in to a room." Which sucks because those are the reasons I bought the damn thing. But, I digress. So after a few calls the only friend I could find who had bail money on hand, and who didn't already have mischievous plans was one of my best friends Dan. Now to give you a little background into Dan and I's friendship. Dan has on several occasions, literally saved my life, kept me from running away and getting married, almost landed me in jail, actually came to visit me in jail, broken several of my bones, and helped me bury a dead hooker. I'm kidding about one of those, I'll let you decide
Onward with the story!
So while talking to Dan, he tells me that his wife is coming. Now this means Dan and I aren't going to get in to any trouble this evening. We decided we will meet at the Claddaugh Irish Pub downtown for a couple beers and whatnot. By this time its about 7PM so I quickly got ready, rounded up the GF and headed towards the big city. I dropped Karman off around 8 cause thats what time her other boyfriend is able to have conjucal visits at the Marion County Jail. We said our goodbyes and I headed to the pub.
I show up to the pub, have a seat at the bar and order a beer. The bar is unusually busy for this early on a friday night. The bar is also full of business-looking, blackberry carrying, wing tip shoe type guys. I was waiting to hear something about cover letters on TPS reports, quarterly revenues, or maybe even a "Hey shooter we just landed". Google it. Now we had decided to meet somewhere between 8 and 830. At 915 Dan and Nicole come strolling right up to me being escorted by the girl working the front door because they asked if Jack Black was in the building. The door greeter did say I looked just like him but didnt ask for an autograph or buy me a beer. Piss poor. Well we all ordered a round and the conversations started flowing.
Now the topics of conversation ranged from the economical condition of the Asain market, the MLB playoffs, Brodys facial hair, Johnsons emo wrist tattoos, and most importantly and definitely most entertaining topic, my ex girlfriends.
Now I have dated some crazy chicks.
"Yeah Clint, I've dated some crazy chicks too.."
No you haven't my friend, no you haven't.
I'm going to keep all female names private for fear that some crazy ex female friend of mine will be waiting in the bushes outside my work or apartment and shoot me in the nuts. I don't want that. Let's begin this adventure with my earliest crazy ex girlfriend.
I dated this girl who was extremely immature for her age. I thought girls were supposed to mature two years faster than guys? In the middle of doing regular daily activities, this girl would just fall towards me and make me catch her. If for some reason I didn't catch her, then to her that meant I didn't love her. I promise I'm not making this up. So here is where this gets funny. We were at a party one night and Brody and I were either making something to eat or cutting limes for tequila shots, either way I had a huge butcher knife in my hand. This girl decides shes going to fall towards me just as I pick up this knife. Obviously my first instinct was to catch her and let the knife stab her, then we can stop this stupid act. However the nice guy in me came out and I decided to let her drop. She dropped much like the Wiley Coyote after he was slammed in the face with a shovel. I'm talking straight stiff-as-a-board fall. Her head bounced off the tile as if one of the Harlem Globetrotters was using it to dribble between their legs. Now here is the crazy part, SHE WAS MAD AT ME!!! Apparently I didn't love or care about her because I refused to stab her. Guess that was my fault.
Another crazy thing wasn't necessarily the girlfriend, although she did have some mental instability. I had been seeing this girl for a bit when she decided she wanted me to spend the night. I thought this was a terrific idea. We went out and came back to her place for the night. The next morning is where it gets interesting. Little did I know that my new flame actually belonged to another dude. Apparently they had split up but she forgot to tell him. So at 7am on a Saturday morning there was a pounding on her door. Her bed room was positioned in the house so she could look out her window and see whoever is at the front door. She told me it was her ex boyfriend and to just ignore him and he will go away. Through earlier conversations she had mentioned her ex lived in Camby which was about 60 miles away from where we were. Obviously I was thinking "This dude just drove 60 miles at 7am to come see her, he isnt going away!" All of a sudden her door opens and this guy walks in to find us in bed together. They immediately start arguing. She gets up, puts some clothes on, walks outside with him and proceeded to "break it off". Little did I know this was a precursor to what would be the fate of our relationship. I found out she was cheating on me with someone from work. She tried to tell me it was my fault but she knew deep down she was just seriously mentally unstable.
Really I could go on and on about stories from my ex girlfriends. I would like to point out that my best friends who are like brothers to me, tried and tried to warn me of these crazy female adventures. Every time I introduced them to a girl, they always gave me an honest opinion about her whether it was nice or not. I have learned a hard lesson that most hot single women who are around my age are probably single for a reason. I would rather let my friends drive drunk on the interstate while blindfolded and texting than date a crazy chick. On a mushy note, it seems I have found a girl who is perfect for me. Shes laid back, smart, funny, likes to try new things, challenges me to be a better person, and is super hot. Karman, I'll have to introduce you to her some time, lololololol, just kidding babe.
If you are an ex girlfriend of mine and feel like I might have been referring to you, then you're probably right. Please don't shoot me in the nuts, I kind of like having them around.
Naturally I decided I needed a partner in this evenings crimes or if for nothing else, to help out in raising bail money. So I quickly scrolled through the contact list on my ever expensive phone which verizon tells me can do anything. "Anything" must be a term in verizon which actually means, "Anything, except get you laid by a latino swimsuit model, pick winning numbers for the lottery, or release white doves and play loud trumpets whenever you walk in to a room." Which sucks because those are the reasons I bought the damn thing. But, I digress. So after a few calls the only friend I could find who had bail money on hand, and who didn't already have mischievous plans was one of my best friends Dan. Now to give you a little background into Dan and I's friendship. Dan has on several occasions, literally saved my life, kept me from running away and getting married, almost landed me in jail, actually came to visit me in jail, broken several of my bones, and helped me bury a dead hooker. I'm kidding about one of those, I'll let you decide
Onward with the story!
So while talking to Dan, he tells me that his wife is coming. Now this means Dan and I aren't going to get in to any trouble this evening. We decided we will meet at the Claddaugh Irish Pub downtown for a couple beers and whatnot. By this time its about 7PM so I quickly got ready, rounded up the GF and headed towards the big city. I dropped Karman off around 8 cause thats what time her other boyfriend is able to have conjucal visits at the Marion County Jail. We said our goodbyes and I headed to the pub.
I show up to the pub, have a seat at the bar and order a beer. The bar is unusually busy for this early on a friday night. The bar is also full of business-looking, blackberry carrying, wing tip shoe type guys. I was waiting to hear something about cover letters on TPS reports, quarterly revenues, or maybe even a "Hey shooter we just landed". Google it. Now we had decided to meet somewhere between 8 and 830. At 915 Dan and Nicole come strolling right up to me being escorted by the girl working the front door because they asked if Jack Black was in the building. The door greeter did say I looked just like him but didnt ask for an autograph or buy me a beer. Piss poor. Well we all ordered a round and the conversations started flowing.
Now the topics of conversation ranged from the economical condition of the Asain market, the MLB playoffs, Brodys facial hair, Johnsons emo wrist tattoos, and most importantly and definitely most entertaining topic, my ex girlfriends.
Now I have dated some crazy chicks.
"Yeah Clint, I've dated some crazy chicks too.."
No you haven't my friend, no you haven't.
I'm going to keep all female names private for fear that some crazy ex female friend of mine will be waiting in the bushes outside my work or apartment and shoot me in the nuts. I don't want that. Let's begin this adventure with my earliest crazy ex girlfriend.
I dated this girl who was extremely immature for her age. I thought girls were supposed to mature two years faster than guys? In the middle of doing regular daily activities, this girl would just fall towards me and make me catch her. If for some reason I didn't catch her, then to her that meant I didn't love her. I promise I'm not making this up. So here is where this gets funny. We were at a party one night and Brody and I were either making something to eat or cutting limes for tequila shots, either way I had a huge butcher knife in my hand. This girl decides shes going to fall towards me just as I pick up this knife. Obviously my first instinct was to catch her and let the knife stab her, then we can stop this stupid act. However the nice guy in me came out and I decided to let her drop. She dropped much like the Wiley Coyote after he was slammed in the face with a shovel. I'm talking straight stiff-as-a-board fall. Her head bounced off the tile as if one of the Harlem Globetrotters was using it to dribble between their legs. Now here is the crazy part, SHE WAS MAD AT ME!!! Apparently I didn't love or care about her because I refused to stab her. Guess that was my fault.
Another crazy thing wasn't necessarily the girlfriend, although she did have some mental instability. I had been seeing this girl for a bit when she decided she wanted me to spend the night. I thought this was a terrific idea. We went out and came back to her place for the night. The next morning is where it gets interesting. Little did I know that my new flame actually belonged to another dude. Apparently they had split up but she forgot to tell him. So at 7am on a Saturday morning there was a pounding on her door. Her bed room was positioned in the house so she could look out her window and see whoever is at the front door. She told me it was her ex boyfriend and to just ignore him and he will go away. Through earlier conversations she had mentioned her ex lived in Camby which was about 60 miles away from where we were. Obviously I was thinking "This dude just drove 60 miles at 7am to come see her, he isnt going away!" All of a sudden her door opens and this guy walks in to find us in bed together. They immediately start arguing. She gets up, puts some clothes on, walks outside with him and proceeded to "break it off". Little did I know this was a precursor to what would be the fate of our relationship. I found out she was cheating on me with someone from work. She tried to tell me it was my fault but she knew deep down she was just seriously mentally unstable.
Really I could go on and on about stories from my ex girlfriends. I would like to point out that my best friends who are like brothers to me, tried and tried to warn me of these crazy female adventures. Every time I introduced them to a girl, they always gave me an honest opinion about her whether it was nice or not. I have learned a hard lesson that most hot single women who are around my age are probably single for a reason. I would rather let my friends drive drunk on the interstate while blindfolded and texting than date a crazy chick. On a mushy note, it seems I have found a girl who is perfect for me. Shes laid back, smart, funny, likes to try new things, challenges me to be a better person, and is super hot. Karman, I'll have to introduce you to her some time, lololololol, just kidding babe.
If you are an ex girlfriend of mine and feel like I might have been referring to you, then you're probably right. Please don't shoot me in the nuts, I kind of like having them around.
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